Afro-Netizen

Comedian Pat Buchanan does a hiliarious bit on MSNBC about how President Obama's nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court is like Jim Crow for "white guys"

H/T to Media Matters for capturing Pat Buchanan insane blathering about Judge Sonia Sotomayor's alleged "reverse racism".

Funny how he refers to her selection as an "affirmative action pick" -- as if that was an objectively bad thing. The connotation, of course, is that individuals who benefited from affirmative action were not qualified for the opportunities they received.

According to poll results released today, the majority of American voters are not in favor of affirmative action on the basis of race or gender.

In an article on this poll, Peter Brown, assistant director of the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute, stated that "the public clearly opposes the idea that such programs are justified as a way of increasing diversity, which has become the rationale in recent years as opposed to compensating for past discrimination which was the reason when they first began."

Mr. Brown, of course, is factually wrong. Nowhere in either executive orders laying the groundwork for affirmative action mentions these policies in the context of past discrimination. And on a more common sense basis, one doesn't need to be a historian to know that in 1961, when the first executive order was signed by President John F. Kennedy, that current discrimination was what kept (over)qualified people of color and white women from even entry-level positions in corporate and government jobs -- let alone admission to college or graduate school.

And if indeed past discrimination were in fact the basis of affirmative action policy, wouldn't it stand to reason that the only thing that would make this controversial public policy obsolete the comprehensive and proportional representation of people of color and white women in previously white and/or male-dominated spheres (i.e., "increasing diversity")?

If that were the case, affirmative action can be expected to be around a looooooooong time!

Obama clowns RNC Chair Michael Steele, GOP and others at 2009 White House Correspondents Dinner

Part One . . .

Part Two . . .

Comedian Wanda Sykes has a field day at the 2009 White House Correspondents Dinner

UN Conference on Racism, Botany, Animal Husbandry & Sodoku can't help but succeed

With anti-racist stalwarts including such nations as USA and Israel not in attendance, and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as the event's opening comedy act, the United Nations Conference on Racism, Botany, Spelunking, Animal Husbandry & Sodoku began on Monday, April 20, 2009 in Geneva, Switzerland, 8 years after the World Conference on Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophia, Related Intolerance and Lint convened in Durban, South Africa.

With white male patriarchy fully dissolved domestically and abroad upon the historic inauguration of U.S. President Barack Obama, the remaining vestiges of intolerance will most certainly be wiped out by year's end.

Afro-Netizen LLC acquired by KBR for $47.3 million

Many rumors have persisted in recent weeks about Afro-Netizen's ownership and plans for the future.

In an effort to end such speculation, it is with great delight that we announce that of March 31, 2009, Afro-Netizen LLC has been acquired by the U.S. firm KBR for $47.3 million.

KBR is a Houston-based enterprise that was formed as the product of a merger between Brown & Root and the M.W. Kellogg Company, both beacons of American enterprise and staunch supporters of diversity, workers' rights and environmental stewardship.

While Afro-Netizen acknowledges KBR's former ties to Halliburton, its formal separation from this company in the spring of 2007 unequivocally disaggregates its future operations and corporate agenda from its past business affiliations.

In recognizing what for some may appear to be an incongruous alliance, KBR has generously offered to remit 0.10% of after-tax proceeds of select Afro-Netizen-related revenue streams (after 2013) to the KBR Foundation on whose board Afro-Netizen founder and former owner, Chris Rabb, will serve as its first African American director.

Afro-Netizen is honored to be KBR's newest asset under the purview of the firm's Community Relations division, and genuinely believes this move is in the best interests of the Afro-Netizen community.

With KBR's corporate leadership, institutional wisdom, long private sector experience and vast resources will be soundly applied to Afro-Netizen's advancement as a leading Black new media enterprise. With this historic acquisition, we believe our mission to inform, inspire and engage afro-netizens will be unmatched by any other competitor and will put us on a path to maximizing shareholder value, and, as a consequence, furthering social justice itself.

For more details on this historic deal, please click here.

Santa Bush a la Brave New Films' "George W. Bush's Nightmare Before Christmas"



FBI confirms Blagojevich sought 'Victory Plate Czar' cabinet post in Obama administration

An anonymous source has leaked to Afro-Netizen information from the FBI sting on embattled Illinois governor, Rod R. Blagojevich (D) that confirms the recently arrested governor sought to become Obama's "Victory Plate Czar", a position Blagojevich believed could be the dark-horse position in the incoming administration to revitalize the national economy currently mired in a historic recession.

Transcripts obtained by Afro-Netizen reveal that Blagojevich believed that in exchange for appointing whomever President-Elect Obama wanted for his vacated senate seat, the governor could secure what he was confident would be the most coveted Executive Branch position outside of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

According to a transcript of an exchange between Blagojevich and an unnamed advisor, the governor was caught exclaiming:

"This f@#ing black guy s#its gold bullion! And you're telling me he's not getting a f@#$ing taste?! Well, that's b@llsh*t. And if it's not, I'm definitely getting a f@*ing taste for sure. Those shut-ins, old f@#^ers, the blacks and f@#$in' hippies are all buyin' that commemorative sh@t like f@#*ing crazy. We get some of our boys to take over that Victory Plate biz, run it through some new b*llsh#t federal program, and nobody'll even know what's goin' on. Besides, Obama and those f#$*ers on Capitol Hill will be greeting us as liberators, throwing f@&#in' flowers at our feet when we f@#*in' save the Godd@mn economy with this f#$@in' plate stimulus idea! Now, back to rubbin' my feet, f#$*er -- and get out of the way of the TV. I'm tryin' to watch 'The Honeymooners' without your big f@#$in' melon in the way!"

When reached for comment on this unsuccessful scheme, Telebrands founder and infomercial king, AJ Khubani, whose company markets the Obama "victory plates" stated, "That's the most stupid f@*#in' idea I've ever heard. And trust me, if there's anyone who knows about stupid f@#*in' ideas, it's me."

This Week in Blackness celebrates Obama's historic win

[Big H/T to comedian Elon James White and the whole TWiB crew! Y'all gonna be real busy over the next four to eight years!]

What would a McCain-Palin "Hail Mary" TV ad look like?

Hat tip (H/T) to Marc Maron & Sam Seder of Air America Radio's Maron v. Seder Show for this hilarious and easily believable parody peeking into the skull of the Maverick & Co.

Obama camp fights the prospect of voter complacency with viral humor

Subtle, it's not. That said, this kitchy, unpolished web video is in fact produced by the Obama campaign to remind complacent voters to avoid doing what lurks in the battered, collective psyche of Democrats who are still licking their wounds from Al Gore's (electoral) "loss" in 2000.

So, enjoy this cringe-inducing video and think of it on November 5th with a dismissive smirk or an incredulous gape.